I missed the sunset today.

I ALWAYS see the sunset on Thursdays. And always on Mondays, too. I'm either in class or walking back from class towards the ocean, and I watch the sky change colors as the sun slowly disappears over the Pacific horizon. The lights in the city begin to turn on, but not before these few eery moments of semi-illumination and semi-darkness. Watching the sun set is one of my favorite things here. No two are ever the same, and it never ceases to amaze me just how beautiful something natural can be.

I missed it today.

And today was Thursday.

I was walking back from my class, being all stressed and excited and worried about my trip to the desert this weekend (AHH I LEAVE IN ABOUT FIVE HOURS!!!). I was worrying about the homework I have due when I get back; whether or not the water is drinkable there; if I have an exam or not next week; why would I have four in a row the week after; what am I doing for the 18th... etc, etc. True to form, I was just thinking about everything that's left to do, but not doing anything, either. I rushed home, got in the shower, was making a mental list of things to pack, and saw from the window above the shower that it was dark outside. And it hit me: I missed Thursday sundown. It was night. Day was gone.

For some reason, this made things click for me. I feel like for the better part of my life, people have been telling me to SLOW DOWN. Trace Adkins has legitimitely been quoted to me:

You're gonna miss this.
You're gonna want this back.
You're gonna wish these days
Hadn't gone by so fast.
These are the good times.
So take a good look around
You may not know it now,
But you're gonna miss this.

Not that I should lose any ambition or stop dreaming, but I'm always so worried about tomorrow that I miss everything beautiful that happens today. I never live in the moment; I'm always in the moment-after. Why have I never slowed down to watch the sun set before? Why is this only something I do in Chile, or those rare occasions that I'm on vacation? I like it. I should do it more often. I've already missed twenty years of sunsets, and I'm sure they were all beautiful.

Moral of the story? I need to chill out a bit. I'm always too stressed for a 20 year old with no obligations to anyone but herself. And I never compete against anyone BUT myself, so why flip out so much? This doesn't mean I'll allow myself to stop working hard, or not do my best. It just means that every now and then, I should be allowed to take a break and watch the sun set.


I'm not missing the sunset tomorrow.